I'm never going to be a game designer. Hell, I hardly even game nowadays. But the reason why this episode hit me hard enough to want to do a full blog entry on it is because of just how closely it hits home, which is rather surprising, because, again, I hardly game, and I never touch horror titles.
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"I am insane" is an easier answer than "The world is insane". Or, to put it another way, they are more ready to believe that they themselves are going mad, than to believe that the world is radically different than what we understand it to be. And the panic this causes is real, because they're perfectly rational, but THINK they're going insane. They're trapped in this rational box, having all of the faculties, all of the ability and the analysis and reason that they've always had, but they're watching themselves, as they think it, going insane. And they can't do anything about it. Unlike the madman, who in most stories, believe his fantasies are realities, and thus doesn't see his insanity, the characters in horror are acutely aware. They KNOW they're going mad. They're forced to feel that descent. To feel the rest of the world judging them, making assumptions about them, because they aren't actually going mad, but even they don't believe it.
(...)
The moment where the character finally faces the possibility that what they're seeing and experiencing is real, the moment they have to ask themselves, "Do I HOPE I'm going mad?", because the alternative is worse - that is the quintessence of horror.
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I've written about my outlook on life and the world a few times. How a lot of things are wrong and don't make sense, and why I can't figure out why we aren't better than this. Here's the most recent example of me thinking the world is fucked up and crazy.
Long story short, it's like seeing the world outside as a horror game. If you ever want to know how it feels to have anxiety to the point of fearing to even leave your house, much less get a job, I suppose you can try a good horror title.
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