The first two generations of the Fiat 500 is well loved not only in its home market of Italy, but thanks to its consistently cute and distinctive looks, in export markets such as Japan as well. Measuring in at 3,546 x 1,626 x 1,514mm (139.6 x 64.0 x 59.6in) however, the third generation Fiat 500 is only 146mm too wide to fit into Japan's Kei–car segment, so instead of sticking a diminutive engine into a grown up car, Fiat has decided to go full Dodge Viper and stuffed a hulking 1,240cc NA unit into the meekly pleading mouse of a body, which produces... wait for it... 65 whole horsepowers.
The reason why I mentioned the Dodge Viper is slightly more than a tongue–in–cheek jab at rumours of how the Viper was held back by its parent companies, but also because the 500 evoked a sense of "how do you make so little power out of so much displacement?!", usually reserved for American muscle. But while American muscle have the torque and soundtrack to compensate mind–bogglingly horrific specific output figures, the 500... doesn't. Even though the torque curve is freakishly flat on the Fiat to its credit, the 500 produces so little of it that you barely get hints of tyre squeals on the crappiest of Comfort tyres, and you could stick your left foot on the gas pedal, open the driver side door, undo your pants and take a pee break, zip back up your pants and transition back into your normal driving position in the time it takes to get to 100km/h, which is roughly seventeen seconds. I'd give you a more exact timing if I could stay awake through the ordeal that is its 0-100km/h crawl.
The sound of the 1.2L Inline–4 not only sounds as invigorating and engaging as a primary school history teacher during the last seventeen seconds of teaching before he collects his pension, but said sound also courteously comes premixed by the utter farce of a gearbox—an automated five speed unit—to make it sound as monotonous as mechanically possible, almost indistinguishable from a CVT's drone in fact, with how long this weak ass car is geared for no discernible reason, facilitating the ease of sleep. Any engagement from the driving experience you thought you might have been able to salvage from changing cogs yourself is rendered completely unnecessary with how third and fourth are all you'll ever need for most corners—or should I say, most entire tracks—and any semblance of fuel economy is left behind on the spec sheet the moment you need to pick up speed on an uphill ramp onto an expressway in the real world, or if you've any intent at all to use the fast lane on a bustling, busy city's road, for which you'll need full throttle in the correct gear. Isn't the 500 is supposedly well suited for city driving with its small, easy–to–park size? Maybe it's because I live in the bustling metropolis that is Singapore, where everyone's a gigantic, self–entitled prick, but even my Honda Fit Hybrid cuts it really rather close in terms of acceleration and throttle response, and I really wouldn't fancy being the poor chap who has to be in something with less than half its power and of comparable mass here in "Lion City".
When we raced and reviewed the 2002 Daihatsu Copen not five months ago, I genuinely thought that that was the single slowest car in the game. At the time, I was blissfully unaware of this thing. The Daihatsu Copen fits into the aforementioned Kei dimensions, while also keeping within Kei displacement limits of 660cc. Want to guess how much less power the Copen makes from almost half the displacement of the 500? 3HP. While it's true that I've also complained about the turbocharged unit in the Copen hyperventilating past 7k of 9, the 500 redlines at a diesel–like 6.4k. In addition, the Copen is not only a whopping 180kg (397lbs) lighter, but it's also stiffer sprung and also packs a five speed, controlled with a proper stick and clutch pedal, meaning it utterly destrolishes the 500 on the track as well. Oh, and have I mentioned how cute the Copen is? And how much cheaper it is? Yeah, okay, sure, the Copen doesn't have back seats, but any pretence of practicality in argument for the 500 can only come from those secretly spiteful of their in–laws or friends, or those flexible enough to toss their shopping in the back and twist to reach for them afterwards; i.e. not me.
At this point, some of you might be wondering, "but XSquare, why are you trying to squeeze the Fiat 500 into Japan's Kei Car segment and comparing it against Kei cars when the 500 is clearly not meant to fit in there?" See, thing is, the Kei car segment is the cheapest excuse, the best way I can rationalise this 23,300 Cr. costing, two–door spiteful mousetrap of a thing. I mean, what else am I going to compare against it? A comparably priced Mazda Roadster/Fiat 124 that weighs roughly the same, packing twice its power, is rear wheel drive, has better aftermarket support, and an open top? A much cheaper Honda Fit Hybrid with two more doors, a boot that doesn't require setting down the rear seats to use, much better fuel economy, better cornering and straight line performance, along with five more drink holders? Look, I don't dislike slow cars; I very much enjoy my Honda Fit, perhaps more than I should, and I ADORE the Mazda Roadster. I love racing slow, crappy econoboxes! But this thing gets out launched, out dragged, and out cornered by a freaking FWD Kei car, while costing about the same as a ND Roadster! How does one excuse this? What's the rationale for this disaster of a package? What is this car? What does it even do? Who is this for? Which rational, educated adult of sound enough mind to pass a driving test, who's responsible and sensible enough to have positioned themselves comfortably enough in society to be considering the purchase of an automobile, would buy this without a spaghetti noose round their neck? An insomniac, perhaps, because the only thing the 500 does that my does–it–all–and–more Honda Fit doesn't is put me the hell to sleep; for the first time in my fifteen months here in COTW, I was so bored during the racing that I began to text my sister during the race, and had to leave the meet early because this car was making me more sleepy than anything I've ever been prescribed, some of which were supposed to put me to sleep.
That all being said, I did spend some more time with the car after our weekly meetup, and I'm very surprised to say that the car has grown on me slightly since then. Sure, it's got nothing on anything in the straights and corners, but in its own way, at its own pace, it's actually rather fun. The steering I find is very precise and immediate, and the car is so easy to place exactly where you want even from cockpit view, owing to its excellent visibility, both of which gave me some beginner Gran Turismo licence test vibes, wherein Polyphony Digital felt the need to teach people how to use the left stick to steer the car for some reason on full throttle (oh god, is it the left stick that steers the car, or the right? I completely forgot!). I love how the interior panel piece bisecting the dash is painted body colour, meaning that you can have some really funky looking interiors while masking the exterior with decals if you wish.
Yes, the car is soft and it understeers when pushed to the ends of its suspension travel. But I think you'll still have some fun with it if you stop racing other cars with it, and just drive it on its own. Slap some Comfort Hard tyres on it, and I think it comes alive just a little bit, emphasising careful and cognizant weight transfer with its soft suspension and slim 175mm tyres. The party piece however, is the handbrake on the car, which comes in more than handy when wrestling away the understeer into a longer corner. While I've never been one to use the handbrake in this SERIOUS BUSINESS SIMULATOR, I've had a lot of fun giving the handbrake a good yank while on full–throttle into the apex of a corner, and the short wheelbase car rotates so quickly and intuitively, it really does feel like a swivel office chair when the boss isn't around. Sure, it isn't the only FWD car with a mechanical handbrake, but the 500's natural understeer necessitates and excuses the tomfoolery more than a Civic Type R for example, and its soft suspension in conjunction with FWD yanks the car straight back into understeer city the moment you let off the handbrake and get on the throttle, not to mention the brakes are almost disproportionately excellent for a car of its speed, meaning that it's almost excruciatingly safe to hoon. I do very much lament the lack of a linear, mechanical handbrake in this game however, which the car does get in real life, as I feel that the 500, or indeed, any FWD road car is greatly hampered by the game's binary, on off switch of a handbrake, though I suppose not having to worry about flat spotting the rear tyres is quite a benefit in itself. I really do appreciate how the 500 has encouraged me to explore the use of the handbrake in this game, intentional or not, and I personally think it makes for some hilarious shots when the locked up rear wheels are coupled with the ridiculous pitch and roll of this softly sprung car.
Look at this cute little thing trying so hard! Aww!
And speaking of, the 500 is a really photogenic car, as one would hope and expect of a car of its nature. I've had a lot of fun shooting it for this review, and I really love having a "normal" car in a Gran Turismo game, especially the 500, as it makes for not only a fun car to shoot on its own, but can also seamlessly blend and fade into the backdrop of a cityscape if you need something believable and unassuming to populate the background of your urban supercar shoot.
I've always lamented how the Gran Turismo series has gradually stopped including base, "lesser" models of cars in the games, like the Skyline GT-Ses, or the wagon Imprezas. I've always wondered how a normal, unassuming Civic drives in comparison to the Type Rs, how much of a compromise the Targa NSX was (because if it's any good, it might become my new guilty pleasure...), or indeed, how scary, or grandma hand holding a base 911 engineered for a well to do, everyday Joe would be to drive. Without these "normal" cars in the game, the wowing, special, limited edition performance cars almost feel... pedestrian. Purposeless. Anyone who's ever played Assetto Corsa might understand what I mean. The inclusion of the base Fiat 500 in Gran Turismo Sport then, gives better context as to what was done to the Abarth 500 and where the extra 6,200 Cr. goes, and I suspect a good chunk of it has went into doubling the power output to what the 500 should've arguably come with as standard via a turbocharger. Hell, the base 500 is so atrocious a package that it could almost make the Abarth look like good value for money! I wasn't too enthused with the Daihatsu Copen when we first ran it back in Week 129 either, but the 500 has somehow made that cheap, cheerful, and unassuming Kei car feel like an FWD Porsche Kei in comparison, and made me appreciate it a hell of a lot more. In other words, the base 500 feels like a good loser. I think anyone who's watched wrestling would know what I mean by that. By losing, it makes other competitors look good, because it is credible in its own right, and it somehow manages to feel special even in loss, which takes a bit of talent to pull off. I think the series is in more and more dire need for these "good losers", who also happen to be a lot of fun.
While I don't necessarily fancy owning one myself, I did unexpectedly have quite a bit of fun with the 500. I think the car and I started off on the wrong foot. The context of Gran Turismo Sport set us both up for that fall, I feel. Where it'd truly shine and be a hoot I think is perhaps on a tight Gymkhana course, or perhaps on a real world, relaxing drive. It's not a car built for competition. It's not a car that will give you much enjoyment if you're being too logical and factual, if you're looking too far ahead on the road, trying to get somewhere or catch someone. Instead, it's a car that emphasises the here and now. It makes me go against the common sim racing advice of "looking further down the road". Go slowly at its pace and enjoy the scenery you'd miss in other cars. Do silly things with it with your friends on a road trip. Laugh instead at how it tries its hardest and dies slowly despite that on an incline when fully loaded with your friends, and then try to synchronise rocking your bodies forward to make it go faster instead of being disappointed and frustrated with it. Enjoy the looks others give you on the road and the photos they take of you when you're in one. It's a car that accentuates and adds flavour to an occasion you create yourself instead of dominating and defining it. That's where the appeal of it lies, I think.
In an amazing stroke of luck, I chanced upon a 500 while I was driving around this past week!
I once said that Singapore's laws for cars are asphyxiatingly strict, but here we see a tasteful, subtle modification that the cops can't touch... because no one can: the owner of this particular example has removed the door handle on the driver's side, not only shedding mass, but also improving on the lateral balance of the car and reducing the rotational inertia, thereby improving on cornering speeds. It's subtle, performance oriented mods like these that separate the wannabe boy racers from the performance enthusiast, and it definitely does not say anything about the build quality and reliability of these things.
