A Failure In Death

But you haven't taught me how to talk
I don't want to hesitate any longer
To take charge of my life
Do something for myself
It's not something we were taught to do
But no one tells us how to be happy either
I'm not going to listen anymore
I feel trapped between everything I'm told I should be
I don't want to live as though I'm dead anymore
Perhaps it's not me you're looking for
So save your "I love you"s for yourself

I won't do anything rash and stupid
Only the most calculated move through the problem of life
I don't want to feel warmth anymore
Twice a month I'll get to bleed bad blood for an hour
But what will I do without my serrogate friend?
I don't want to be warmed into second guessing anymore
The only hope and friends are all professionals
I don't want to listen anymore

How alone, how alone
Can one feel in a sea of people?
So squeezed tight, I've nowhere to hide, no way to breathe
Surely even now I am being watched
But who can help me get what I want?
The brave ones who succeeded are all gone
And I am left all alone
Yearning to be one of them

Reaching out at this hour only brands me a criminal
They'll only spare no effort to keep me alive
But then only say there's hope without lifting a finger
They know, I know
This world is fucked up
If only, if only
I wasn't so scared
Why are we wired this way
To instinctually fear when we want with all our heart?
I am a fucking coward
Who can only ask for so much before being locked away

Is it you? Is it me?
Is it so wrong to be weak?
Why is the world fortified with so many parapets?
Is it them? Is it me?
Am I insane, or am I the only sane one?
Is it you, is it me
Is it me

Who doesn't care why it's so wrong anymore
This happens. Life happens. Shit happens
This is normal
This is my normal
And you are all sick for being okay
with this
I see happiness under my palm; I've got to seize it
I'll stop shaking, I'll stop feeling weak
My pulse will stop racing
Whenever I am ready

But you haven't taught me how to talk
This is my goodbye
My eyes are now open and dry
I am sane with a clear head
And I can see my real role models now
These feelings will all die soon
Nobody can help me anymore
Nobody can stop me anymore
This is what I want