Thursday, 8 February 2024

GT7 W43: Ferrari F8 Tributo '19

GTPlanet's Acceptable Use Policy states that I can't link to content with profanity in them without sufficient warning, so here's your (hopefully) sufficient warning to not click on any of the hyperlinks in the text if you're not okay with profanity.

Why do I start this review with that dubious warning? Well, that's because it's a Ferrari.

The company has a nasty habit of massively underreporting their cars' mass figures. I don't trust their power figures, either. They try to control the media. Choose who gets to "buy" their cars, and then threatens them should they do car owner things, like lend them out for reviews or put wraps on their cars. They even went as far as to C&D someone for replacing the prancing horse badge with one of a cat. It seems to me as if they understand and view the world through the competitive mindset of F1: everything beneficial is to be controlled and micromanaged, and anything detrimental is to be swiftly and surely crushed. Either that, or there just simply isn't a very direct translation to Italian for the words, "fairness" and "ownership". I'm surprised that they don't try to sue other car companies for daring to require oxygen to run just like a Ferrari™, or charge a royalty fee for every utterance or worded instance of its name.

Call me stupid if you want, but I literally cannot understand how someone can be a fan of a company that does all that.

But so what. Ferrari are free to conduct themselves and their business however they please as long as they don't violate any applicable laws. Supercars are toys for the rich, and only a microscopic subset of which have the skills and context to really exploit and judge the cars. A little exaggeration and showmanship never hurt anybody. No one watches porn or wrestling demanding that the actors love or hate each other for real. The problem is that, in spite of all this hype and "help", I've just never liked a single Ferrari I've ever driven in the GT series of video games. The vast majority of them drove horribly, even with unrealistically low mass figures, and those that weren't outright disgusting to drive were just "okay" to me at best. Their highly optimistic stats in the game mean that fair comparisons with cars made by other more sensible and ethical car makers are impossible. I have tried, for years, to understand what drives the Tifosi crazy, to understand the appeal, to breathe in the mystique, but every time I try, I just end up caked in horse manure, often missing a few million credits I'd very, very much love to have back. It's almost as if I was inadvertently left out of some mass brainwashing exercise, and it's like the Ferrari I see and the Ferrari others see are completely different things.

So yeah, the 2019 Ferrari F8 Tributo, and my very unhelpful writeup of my time with it.

C&D Incoming in 10... 9... 8...

On paper, this thing is a bloody menace. 710HP (529kW) and 1,330kg (2,932lbs) are just frankly irresponsible numbers, even in the hands of a pretend racing car driver with 1337 skillz. And as if that weren't enough, the gear ratios of this thing feel ripped straight from a car with a quarter of its power: 2nd gear is just good enough for 110km/h (68mph), and the brutal acceleration of the car means that 4th will be required even before reaching the end of the rumble strips out of Turn 11 at Suzuka... which is a hairpin.

So yeah, it's fast. But it wouldn't be a supercar if it wasn't.



#itasha #anime #ferrari

The big story behind those fast numbers of course, is in its engine: a 3.9L V8 slung amidships with twin snails huffing into it, capable of revving up to a stratospheric 8,500rpm. Despite the F8 Tributo supposedly being a celebratory sendoff for the midship Ferrari V8, I don't feel any sort of magic or mystique from its centrepiece engine. It sounds undeniably muted from the fantastic shriek of the 458, and its turbos mean that this car gives its best acceleration when egregiously short shifted, which is to say that this engine doesn't even want to sing. Its dual clutch gearbox works quickly and nigh seamlessly, so there isn't even much of an excuse to rev this thing out to save two shifts when approaching a braking zone. As vague as it sounds, it just doesn't seem to have much of a personality or soul to it. Rather than a mechanical concert, it feels like an appliance; like a 710HP, 7,500rpm washing machine. Even someone as ignorant about the brand as me can tell that that's not very Ferrari–ish.


Style by Fast-Killer-1996: AMG GT Black Series Gercollector
#amg #blackseries #gercollector

Thankfully, the F8's handling has been much improved over the last few Ferraris I drove: the 458, LaFerrari, and the heinous F12 of the Master Licence test. The F8 lacks that horrible understeer on power reminiscent of an FF hot hatch that the 458 and LaFerrari had, and as a result, it can actually put down its savage power out of a turn without getting into a legal dispute with Armco. The front end I find is a little vague and slow to respond when the steering wheel is initially pulled off centre, but set it up early and right, and the car absolutely will bite into an apex no problem, no doubt helped greatly by coming default with ample Sports Medium tyres, which need no fancy introduction or elaboration beyond, "they work". Same with the brakes.


I'll admit: I don't tend to like road cars at this performance level. The combination of road car tyres and aero with speeds exceeding that of GT3 racecars just results in a counterintuitive chore at best and a threat at worst, and to protect their clientele, cars at this level tend to have a lot of understeer baked into them. They're not at all allowed to have any flaws, or even any sort of a playful personality of their own. When I drive these cars, I'm just clinically watching the speedo figuring out when to shift, and memorising braking points in order to not die, instead of passively reacting to the track and car. Driving a car this fast feels like a one–way communication, like I can't ever let the car "talk" to me, because I always have to be on top of it. I don't fancy fooling around or experimenting with a car this obscenely powerful. Of course, none of that is Ferrari's fault: it's just where the industry and genre of car is at, and my weird personal preferences. But because I can't find any personality in the F8, it, to me, is an "okay" car at best, and I'm sure that's really unfair to the car.


The only time it made me feel anything was when I watched Vic chain stupidly ludicrous drifts together. That made me crack a smile.

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