Wednesday, 24 January 2024

GT7 W41: Chaparral 2X Vision Gran Turismo

In the biggest surprise of 2024 thus far (not the highest bar ever set by humanity, I know), I actually did a lap of Spa with the 2X VGT and didn't die.


You'll have to understand: this isn't my usual cynicism talking—back when we tested this... "car?", back in GTS, I seem to recall it being a wreck fest, and seemingly only Vic survived through it all to leave a few foreboding words for the car. The car's page on Gran Turismo Wiki even comes with its own bespoke section warning players of the car's difficulty to drive and even some tips to survive. It's got as much power as a Peugeot 905 has name, and weighs almost half of said Group C racecar. I don't even think I'd fit in one; it seems designed for a female supermodel, going by its reveal trailer.


Enthusiasts are already bemoaning the loss of feedback and soul from EVs, so imagine what a laser propelled car—one that doesn't even drive any of its wheels—would offer in terms of feedback and engagement. Not that there's much time to worry about that in the 2X; it'll do 0–60mph in 1.6 seconds, and a quarter mile of asphalt would be in the car's triple rear view cameras in just 7.3s. Don't ask me the specifics of how it works, for real life scientists are still trying to figure that out themselves. What I can tell you is that the cock rings around the penis like appendage stuck into the back of the car light up, banging sounds happen, ???, profit. Depending on how much throttle is applied and what "revs" the "engine" is doing (I'm assuming this just means laser pulses per second in this context), the whole thing can sound like sporadic slapping to, to machine gun fire, and then to a full blown, incoherent applause, assuming you can hear that thunderous motivation in the face of the gale force winds roaring against your helmet, demanding that the affront to nature and physics be stopped right there and then. Not that it comes across in the game at all, but I can't help but imagine that this laser propulsion system would feel a lot like driving a car without a flywheel, with jerky bursts of propulsion, especially at low speeds.

...also, if each wheel is controlled individually by each of the driver's limbs, how the hell do you accelerate and brake in this thing, by farting and clenching your butt?


The surprise however, isn't so much in the laser propulsion of the car, but rather, that the 2X wasn't super difficult to "drive". In fact, in a few areas, it's actually easier than a traditional car to commandeer. Because none of the four wheels are being driven, wheelspin and power oversteer are completely non–existent. This makes the 2X even more of a rocket in the wet, as it doesn't have to struggle to hook up with the road to put power down. No other car, real or fictional, can give mother nature and common sense the middle finger quite like the 2X does—not even the 2J, itself already a weapon in the wet. Also, because it doesn't drive its wheels, the car doesn't even come with Traction Control, which I believe makes it the only car in the game that can't have it.


Okay, so it takes off like a rocket... almost literally. I just casually, nonchalantly hit 340km/h at the relatively short home straight of Spa. Blink, and you'll miss it. You'll need to sever your head and mount it on a camera dolly to keep up with this thing. This thing takes almost the same time and distance to stop as it takes to go, at least, from "low" speed ranges like 200km/h (124mph), which means that drivers will have to rewire their brains a bit to cope with the speeds this thing does. Understatement of the year, I'm sure. The car does itself no favours in this department though, as the default brake balance dumps so much brake pressure onto the fronts, only to get trimmed off by ABS, putting most braking force to waste. Also, default ABS utterly suffocates this thing, for some reason. It stops MUCH better with ABS Weak and a full rearward bias. No, it's not a #Racing Car—it's hardly a car and almost nothing can keep up with it to have a race—so you'll have to buy your own Brake Balance Controller from Understeer. Stingy bastards. Turning on BoP also unequips the aftermarket brake controller, unlike racing cars that come default with it, meaning BB can't be adjusted in BoP lobbies, even with the partial settings to allow for brake balance adjustments.


In the twisty bits of the track, the 2X further shows its slight, but notable bias towards understeer, most likely baked in by the team at Polyphony Digital rather than Chaparral themselves, seeing as all four wheels of the 2X steer, and can be independently controlled by each of the driver's limbs in the prone cockpit of the car, meaning that it's probably possible to oversteer all the way to Narnia if you so wish. It's still possible to break the rear of the car loose however, but this has much less to do with the thrust requested and more to do with the steering angle of the car when that thrust is requested—remember, power oversteer is not a thing in this car. Because the propelling force doesn't come from the wheels beneath the car, getting on the throttle out of a turn doesn't pull weight away from the front wheels, and they remain responsive and grippy even when on power. Absent the need to account for weight shifts and power oversteer, the... throttle pedal? Butt insert? of the 2X can be squeezed much, much earlier than common sense would suggest, but we were done with that the moment we crucified ourselves in this car. Also, despite appearances, the 2X is very prone to bottoming out, sparking in High Speed Ring's banked corners, and the car is extremely upset by even innocuous rumble strips.


The team at PD were kind enough to give us pleb wheel users some steering feedback in the car that hasn't the antiquated circular steering contraption, but the 2X still feels very disconnected and muted in the corners, definitely making the twisty bits a boring lull just waiting to get back on the power again, where all the fun is. I'm tempted to say that, for the speeds its capable of and the pittance it weighs, the 2X lacks the downforce to match, meaning that it has to hard brake for high speed, high downforce corners like Eau Rouge and Blanchimont, but the 2X took the latter at 300km/h (186mph) when Super Formula cars top out at 280 (174mph) on the straight leading up to it. There is very definitely a "grip blind spot" in the car from around 120km/h all the way up to 220km/h (75–137mph) though, where the mechanical grip isn't enough to see the car around a bend, but there isn't enough downforce yet to start pushing the car to the ground. This makes long, mid speed corners an extreme chore to tackle, and breaks the whole flow of the drive. Chaparral claim they have an upward pointing laser to generate downforce; I find that hard to believe from behind the triple screens.


With its only propulsion coming from the laser, the 2X is technically an EV, which means it can't recharge in the pits, rendering it completely useless for longer races. Still, it's economical enough to do 12 laps of Spa flat out. A BMW i3 for some context, could only do 5 laps and change, and yes, I had to run all those laps myself because the lack of a Fuel Map in the HUD meant that I had no estimate on range. Not an issue specific to the 2X, but still one worth mentioning as this is the first pure EV we've had here.


Overall, it was a pretty cool experience. The 2X did pleasantly surprise me in some areas, and I did find some unexpected benefits of a laser propelled car. I just derive no joy from driving it. It was a bore at best and a counterintuitive, sometimes unwilling alien at worst. Yeah, sure, it's fast, but perhaps it's too fast for its own good. It's ludicrous speed is such that GT7's garbage lobby netcode makes the car lag spike across a quarter width of a track, making even casual races with trusted friends a chore. Even on Comfort Hard tyres, this thing barely slips under 920PP; what the heck is it going to race against? At least the 2J can take on contemporary Gr.1 machinery and can be detuned to bully Gr.2 cars. This car feels like a million credit, 450kg (992lbs) paperweight at most, and one that can't even be stepped on. On that front, there's no surprise: it's a typical VGT.


Okay, sure, it's theoretically possible to have laser propulsion in rockets, and by extension, cars—I'm not terribly interested in the theoreticals. I'm more interested in the things that I can have, right here, right now. You know what else is theoretically possible? Nuclear powered cars. Steam engines. Hydrogen Rotaries. Nanomachines, son. Just because it's theoretically possible doesn't make it viable; who's to say that in a car application, the thing won't end up weighing 16 tonnes or have a range of 2 centimetres? A laser that superheats air to propel the car? Okay, will it cook the driver? Any car following behind? Why don't you slap smaller lasers to the sides and top of the car to help it turn and give it extra downforce? Hell, just give it office swivel chair wheels, why bother steering it?

Look, if the technology is so amazing and the car can be so light, the industry would've long since adapted it. It doesn't matter if it's "theoretically possible" to me, as long as I can't buy it, it's every bit as childish and stupid as the Tomahawk to me. "I HAVE 2 MILLION HORSEPAWERS!!!" "Oh yeah? Well MY DAD WORKS AT CHAPRAL, AND HE SAYS HE CAN TALK HIS BOSS TO GIVE ME 5— TEN MILLION LLAMATHRUSTS!" It's just an endless cock waving contest, which I find to be in a complete, tonal clash with the rest of the game that tries to have a classy, understated appreciation for the engineering and design of cars.

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