Friday, 11 March 2022

Car of the Week Reviews—Volkswagen typ2(T1) SambaBus '62

Volkswagen typ2(T1) SambaBus Review


I've taken more heart thumping craps than racing this thing.

...yeah, that's the end of the review. What else do you want me to say? Damn thing's literally a bus! With 33 whole horsepowers! You'd get a lot more out of the car- I mean, bus, in the Livery Editor and the Discover section than going full tilt anywhere in this, which you will need to on any leg of travel that doesn't involve a free fall off a tall cliff, with a 0-60 time of "oh god please make it before my pubic hair turns white". IF you manage to even hit 80km/h, the Sambabus can only pull a dizzying 0.8 lateral g on what should be its default tyres, Comfort Hards, enough to perhaps make your easily carsick grandma a little queasy and politely ask you to take it a tad bit easier, lest she can't concentrate on knitting your pink sweater with a giant red heart back in the many passenger seats of this thing.



"Tune it", you say? It maxes out at 98HP and 930kg (73kW, 2,050lbs), which just makes it as murderous as an air cooled 911 with half its aptitude. Even if you were to... um... time travel into the future, it can't be wide bodied. It can't take any aero parts. In fact the only thing it can take is a pair of tow hooks, because gosh knows that's how it'd achieve its fastest speeds. At this point, only gosh knows if you can put a 911 Flat 6 into it. You'd think that all that space in the bus would be ideal for storing bottles of Nitrous, the most powerful of which will transform your humble camper van into an intercontinental ballistic bomb bottle, topping out at an eye–watering 112 on the back straight of Tsukuba... kilometres per hour. In freedom speak, that's almost 70mph! Oh and by the way, there isn't even a bonnet view on this, so good luck to approximately the half of you alpha serious sim racer types that race in bonnet view.



It's not meant to race. Trying to race this thing is like trying to see which brand of rubbing alcohol evaporates the fastest—I mean yeah, you can do it, but it's completely missing the point, and is just about as exciting as well. Your time would be much better used mindlessly scrolling through Instagram, which I found myself doing to salvage some sanity in me when we let an absurdly large vertically-placed rectangular prism vote, and wound up winning. So here, instead of a tune to fix a bad car, I'll share some Instagram accounts I follow to make a bad life decisions easier to swallow, such as showing up to race this thing:

https://www.instagram.com/katu_fc3c_nd5rc/
https://www.instagram.com/yuuki_safd7/
https://www.instagram.com/yukn_tanpopo/
https://www.instagram.com/m.zelo.m/
https://www.instagram.com/mojack_fd/
https://www.instagram.com/ashleymiche/
https://www.instagram.com/poissons_219/
https://www.instagram.com/yanhibi0221/
https://www.instagram.com/hatachan524/
https://www.instagram.com/hoshina_r18/

SOME of them may not be car related.

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