144 Bibian

It's often said that a picture is worth a thousand words, but that had never held true for describing something as dynamic, and perhaps even organic, as a car. There's no such complication or poetry in this week's case however...

...because the 2014 Lamborghini Veneno simply, plainly sucks.

In the 2.7km (1.67mi) I've put on the odometer of my Veneno in my own private practice right before joining this week's lobby, I've overshot, understeered, and crashed this car about 4 times. The Veneno is one of the cars that are so horrendous to drive in this game that you could take one corner, stop the car, and then walk back to the pits in disgust. It understeers so much that it seemingly wants to cut right through The Omega of Big Willow despite my every effort to stop and turn it, even on uprated Sport Soft tyres we were running in this week's meetup (default are Sport Hards; you might as well be driving on bald toilet rolls at that point). It takes forever to slow for a corner too, often requiring braking well before the first distance markers for every corner, some situated 200m before the turn–in. I don't think I've ever driven a car that has asked of me to lift in "The Sweeper", Turn 8, of Big Willow before, but lo and behold, you'll need to lift hard to avoid going into the sand, or even dab the brakes a bit to hold a narrow line to brake in a straight line for Turn 9, the final corner. It's an absolutely abhorrent chore to drive, one that immediately puts a person into a bad mood upon undertaking the task, akin to disputing a BS legal case: The whole thing just feels like an argument wherein both parties try to shout over the other and nothing gets met in the middle nor goes anywhere.

And so after the first race at Big Willow, I spent the rest of the session trying to find cars that could compete against the Veneno, and just like another crappy Italian car we tested not too long ago, the lobby soon descended into "a free-for-all, bring whatever fits into the power/weight limits" battle royal: a sure sign that nobody likes driving the Car of the Week. At one point, we ran America's big three pony cars, all of which are infinitely cheaper, not to mention way more fun. The GT-R Safety Car, despite being of an ancient platform with "only" 6 forward gears and topping out at 324km/h gear limited halfway into the home straight tunnel of Toukyo East, pulls football fields on the Veneno in the straights, so much so that even with a higher drag limited top speed of 377km/h, the Veneno experiences a net time disadvantage on the straight—even when driven by Vic on a track characterised by its never–ending home straight. And don't think for a second that the ultra–fancy Veneno with its appearance and claim of a "aerodynamic efficiency of a racing prototype" can compensate for that in the corners, either, because according to the game, this damn thing has as much front downforce as my Honda Fit: a.k.a. zero.

Yes, I'll admit, all of the aforementioned cars compared against the Veneno were tuned to be as powerful as possible and be as light as possible within our lobby's regulations of 739HP (591kW) and 1,450kg (3,197lbs), the stock power and mass of the Veneno. I usually run comparisons with bone stock cars, but as with most filthy Italian supercars, the listed mass in this game is its dry mass, which makes legitimate comparisons against more ethical, honest, and sensible makes completely impossible, hence why I just made them as competitive as possible within the regulations. God I hate reviewing Italian cars. I really do. It infuriates me to no end. I hate their politics. I have no idea why they're so obsessed with the dry mass of a car. Has no one ever thought, "wait a minute, if we quote the dry mass in a self–proclaimed simulator and if it perchance handles like a constipated dog's stiff, dry poo in said simulator, what does that say about the real world performance of our car?"

There is one car I left completely bone stock aside from a tyre upgrade to Sports Soft to match the Veneno's, however...

Mechanically, I struggle to find much difference between an Aventador LP 750-4 SV and a Veneno. Both have engines producing the exact same power at the exact same rpm. Both are AWD rear mid engined cars. Both have 7 speed automated manual gearboxes. The only minor difference is that the Aventador weighs a slight bit more than the Veneno, at 1,525kg (3,362lbs) and less torque at 690.2N⋅m (509.1lbf⋅ft), in comparison to the Veneno's 720.8N⋅m (531.6lbf⋅ft). The Aventador also exhibits way more body movement than the tauter Veneno, but puzzlingly has less understeer than its more exclusive sister, allowing me to keep up with, and even pester Rick's Veneno on a few occasions around Suzuka despite the Aventador's deficiencies on paper.

Here's the thing, though: not only does the Aventador SV cost roughly a third of the Veneno, but it felt much more like a "proper" Lamborghini to drive. Yes, it still understeers on corner entry, but it was much more cooperative and capable than the Veneno under trail braking, and on exits, the car felt much more lairy and alive, requiring drivers to wrestle the rebellious car under their control, lest its rear end swings out with the more pronounced body roll over the Veneno if you simply gun it, despite being AWD. The Aventador may be lairy and rebellious like its styling suggests, but it can be wrestled into submission to bite an apex or even to have some fun with slides. In fact, it requires you to wrestle it to prove that you are worthy of its cooperation. It has a haughty elitism to it not just in its styling and price tag, but most importantly in a video game, also in its driving dynamics as well, which I've come to associate with a good Lamborghini like the Countach. The Veneno on the other hand, never gave me that sense of drama nor cooperated with me no matter what I tried with it. It isn't a tempting Tsundere with a soft and sweet side you have to prove yourself to see; it's just a bad bitch thorough and through, seemingly just for the sake or appearance of it.

Okay, fine, the Veneno is faster around a track than an Aventador. But by how much? I'd rather attempt to shave my balls with a chainsaw than to hotlap a Veneno, so I'll refer you to Alex P's Nordschleife runs:

2.876 seconds faster apparently... around a 7 minute lap.

Can a lap time advantage of 0.6% justify a price hike of 300%? What are you paying for exactly? The exclusivity? The fact that the Veneno is supposedly the celebration of Lamborghini's 50th Anniversary as a manufacturer? I think that fact beats the dead horse that is the Veneno's case even further, as it brings to mind other cars like the Ferrari F50 and the utterly brilliant Honda S2000 as comparisons, benchmarks, and expectations. Can the Veneno really live up to that sort of hype and expectations? At its core, it's simply a reskinned Aventador with a remapped engine. If you look in the interior of both cars, you'd find that they have the same A and B pillars, the same digital dash, the same air con vents... everything! Yet, for all its similarities to the Aventador, it's difficult to imagine that a simple reskin could result in a product that's so much worse. Perhaps this is what Chris Harris alluded to in his article, "Lamborghinis Are The Perfect Cars For People Who Can't Drive", wherein he describes that no two Aventadors handle the same, and perhaps the Veneno is circumstantial proof of that in Gran Turismo Sport. If the Veneno is supposed to be a symbolic icon of Lamborghini as a brand, then I can only be left to infer that modern day Lamborghinis are style over substance, show over go. And that they handle terrible. Hell, I don't even like the Aventador that much, yet here I am, making it sound like the second coming of your preferred deity just because it's in the same conversation as the Veneno.

If you truly must drive a Veneno over an Aventador for whatever reason, I think Sport Soft tyres are a bare minimum for it to be barely tolerable. Tune it if you can. Otherwise, don't bother with it.