With Metallica's Low Man's Lyric running through my head non stop in near complete darkness, I was having extreme trouble sleeping. I'm still beating myself up for crashing my NSX last week. And in the black of night, my phone buzzed. Against better judgment, I fumbled about in the dark on the bedside tabletop for my phone. Once I had it in my grasp, I had to unlock it with my left hand, seeing as there's still a stiff cast over my right thumb from crashing my NSX last week.
My eyes struggle to adjust to the brightness of the phone in the complete darkness. Through a squint, I read:
"Attention, dear COTW members, this week's car has been chosen by MidfieldMaven. In KIND CONSIDERATION for the senior citizens wrapped in casts and bandages, we are slowing things down with the...
*drumroll*
The 1991 Honda Beat!
First race will be at Tsukuba Circuit, 8th of July, noon sharp JST. Latecomers will be shot on arrival, and no-showers will be hunted down and savagely Beaten. And then shot."
Verdict: Beater. And with that, I returned to the task at hand of sleeping. Don't you just love it when your job does itself for you?
*********************************************
Still, I'd take any excuse to revisit Japan, even in the sweltering summer heat. I ran into Esther the editor in the airport when I touched down, though she's not attached to me this week. I offered her a ride to Tsukuba in the Beat, since it's only about 2 hours away by car. She declined, saying she was in a rush. Something about having to prepare for and orient a newcomer to COTW? (I hope the newbie reads the fine print...) I brought up the fact that taxis in Toukyo are horrifically expensive, but she insisted on her choice, regardless, saying she was really in a rush. She hurriedly left after handing me the keys to the Beat.
Did this woman seriously insinuate to me that she could Beat me there via cab?
Similarly to my GT500 NSX, getting into the groove of the Beat involves folding oneself up like an accordion. Unlike the NSX however, the engine note as I started it up simply doesn't strike a chord with me. It sounded very flat and uninspired. Of course, this being a Kei car, engine notes or power was never going to be its forte. Rather, I'm expecting it to dance around corners and mountain passes, given its diminutive dimensions and light weight. Still, on public roads, that's not something that the sound of mind would try, so the crescendo of this symphony would have to wait till we get to a racetrack.
*quickly hides a cheat sheet of musical terminology as I puke from my own bad puns onto some poor chap's Nissan Note parked next to my Beat.*
On an entry ramp onto an expressway, I decided to get a bit early and cheeky with testing the car. I dropped it down to second and floored it, and my entire life flashed before my eyes: from my earliest memories of being abandoned, the first time I bled, being bullied in school, every failed relationship I blamed myself for, doubting my educational choice in engineering, finding my cat in the wild, the day she became family, every embarrassing moment my half baked Japanese caused me to say something rude, my small taste of office politics in the short time I've had a normal job, learning to be a better racing driver and then quitting racing, having met the good folk here at COTW...
After my entire life flashed before my eyes, I glanced over at the instrumentation panel of the Beat. In the time it took my entire life to flash before my eyes, I've picked up 50rpm and 2km/h more. I became secretly glad that Esther declined the ride with me to Tsukuba, because this thing would probably be rolling back downhill by now if I had a passenger with me. Just as that thought had crossed my mind, a rental diesel Demio signaled and passed me on an uphill onto the expressway, and I died a little on the inside.
It takes a about 16 agonising, life choice regretting seconds, three of its five forward gears it has, and almost all 9,000rpm its E07A engine will do for the Beat to reach the Japanese highway speed limit of 100km/h from a standstill, perhaps due to my... stability inclined body. And all the time before you hit the speed limit in the Beat is the scariest experience you'll have within speed limits on public roads, as everything is passing you by, and you're only hoping and praying they actually see your 1,175mm tall Beat with headlights mounted not even halfway up the body. Each time a large vehicle passed me, the air shoved aside by their large bodies would swoosh over and push my Beat slightly off course, and I'd have to steer against that lateral push. Once they pass however, the area of low pressure behind these large vehicles would immediately suck the Beat back in, requiring quick corrections to steer away from them, just to maintain a straight line.
Life isn't better once you actually get to the speed limit, though. Being a 5 speed with short ratios, 100km/h is turning about 5500rpm on the engine in 5th, and the drone in the small and cheap car with not much insulation is almost akin to driving an uninspired race car at apex speeds all the time. Even if no one can legally pass you, it doesn't mean someone won't try. In fact, there goes the tree hugger in a Honda Fit hybrid that's been tailgating me for the past minute. He probably thinks I'm not giving him as big a slipstream as he wants.
Yes, this thing gets gapped at any speed by Fits and Demios (Demioses? Demii?) at any speed, at any rpm. You would think that driving a 2 door, mid engined, brightly coloured sports car powered exclusively by the most explosive of dinosaur juices would instantly make you the sexiest man on the expressway, but the Beat is probably the exception that proves the rule: it's like unsheathing a Katana only to find out the only thing sticking out the Tsuka is a toothpick. And then attempting seppuku with it regardless,
That said, the 656cc inline 3 banger in the Honda Beat absolutely sings once you spend some time with it and get to know it. I think I had an epiphany about an hour into the drive, as I began to understand more and more what the engine was communicating to me. Something along the lines of, "How could this happen to me? I've made my mistakes. Got nowhere to run. The night goes on as I'm fading away. I'm sick of this life. I just want to scream, 'How could this happen to me?'"
Never thought the day would come where I actually use the "Art Trucks" set of Scapes scenes, but lo and behold, here we are.
Life isn't better once you actually get to the speed limit, though. Being a 5 speed with short ratios, 100km/h is turning about 5500rpm on the engine in 5th, and the drone in the small and cheap car with not much insulation is almost akin to driving an uninspired race car at apex speeds all the time. Even if no one can legally pass you, it doesn't mean someone won't try. In fact, there goes the tree hugger in a Honda Fit hybrid that's been tailgating me for the past minute. He probably thinks I'm not giving him as big a slipstream as he wants.
"Moshi-moshi? Is this the traffic police? Yes, I have video evidence of someone going over the speed- YES MOSHI MOSHI, I SAID-! NO, I'M NOT SELF REPORTING. THAT'S JUST MY CAR!"
Yes, this thing gets gapped at any speed by Fits and Demios (Demioses? Demii?) at any speed, at any rpm. You would think that driving a 2 door, mid engined, brightly coloured sports car powered exclusively by the most explosive of dinosaur juices would instantly make you the sexiest man on the expressway, but the Beat is probably the exception that proves the rule: it's like unsheathing a Katana only to find out the only thing sticking out the Tsuka is a toothpick. And then attempting seppuku with it regardless,
That said, the 656cc inline 3 banger in the Honda Beat absolutely sings once you spend some time with it and get to know it. I think I had an epiphany about an hour into the drive, as I began to understand more and more what the engine was communicating to me. Something along the lines of, "How could this happen to me? I've made my mistakes. Got nowhere to run. The night goes on as I'm fading away. I'm sick of this life. I just want to scream, 'How could this happen to me?'"
And yes, Esther did make it to Tsukuba before I did.
Ahh, but what was I saying earlier? That the crescendo of the symphony was going to have to wait for the track? Judging by its disappointing performance on the public roads, it might not just be the crescendo that has to wait for the track, but rather, the entire concert. Tsukuba is a suffocatingly short and narrow track for most cars, and the men in suits over at the FIA would probably suffer a stroke just looking at it. However, as I exited the pits in the diminutive Beat, the track felt wider in the Beat than most tracks feel in a GT3 car. I think 6 to 7 Beats could easily fit side by side on the home straight. With slow cars often encouraging closely fought racing, I began to get a little excited, and also admittedly a little bit nervous, imagining how this week's racing would go in the Beat.
And then I took a corner at speed at Tsukuba, and my mind was B L O W N. As inadequate as words feel to me when it comes to describing the circuit driving experience of the Beat, I think the first words I shouted in the cabin are the best way for words to roughly represent what I felt when I took the first corner of Tsukuba at speed:
"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!"
"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!"
I spun out immediately due to the Beat's lethal combination of short wheelbase, rear midship layout, soft suspension, and what felt like a completely open differential under braking (Editor's note: Ted from Technical points out the Beat does have a rear "diff", but is set very mild). It became immediately clear to everyone in the meet that this week's theme isn't so much "Beater or Sleeper?", but moreso a matter of survival. The races were a carnival game with the goal of keeping the thing from spinning out like a top, with bonus points for actually holding it on a racing line.
Because of the car's layout and setup, it's almost entirely impossible to trail brake into turns, as I found myself braking in a straight line, then almost completely letting off the brakes before turning, and this was even with a rather aggressive front brake bias at -3, which caused the front tyres to audibly cook under braking even with ABS. In fact, for the corners with deeper apexes, I've even had to give it quite a bit of gas to get weight over the rear before turning the wheel to rotate into the corner, just to prevent the rears from swinging out. The meager 63HP/PS it's so close it doesn't even matter on offer was never at risk of spinning the wheels from excessive power, meaning that, for as scarily tail happy as the car is to drive, power oversteer was never a factor, which made for a very bizarre experience. The gas pedal is essentially a "weight over the rear tyres" pedal, and the brakes, the opposite. Cornering the Beat at racing speeds really did feel like balancing on a tightrope, and you're less of a driver as you are an acrobat. It really was that precarious and delicate an affair.
I'll admit, the instinct of trail braking is a hard one to break, especially under pressure in a race, which causes me to default back to instincts to trail brake on several occasions, which is a death sentence in the Beat. The Beat demands its own specific style of driving from its driver, and is therefore a steep test in how fast someone can adapt and learn, which feels like an underlying theme of COTW races. I'm... not very good at that. I need a lot of time to learn a car and track and commit it to memory for any one race, and I blame our country's education system for making me this way. *cough* Where was I? Right, the Beat.
It's a crying shame that the Beat's contemporary rivals, the Suzuki Cappuccino and Maz-, oh, sorry, the Autozam AZ-1, aren't available for us to test. The only other Kei cars we had on hand are its younger sibling, the S660, and the Daihatsu Copen, a personal favourite of mine. When we raced at Sardegna C, I decided to hop into an S660 to see how it stacks up to the Beat, since I have fresh experience with modern, beater, try hard Hondas around this track.
Yes, the 2015 S660 is 24 years younger than the 1991 Beat. However, on paper, the S660 produces the same 63BHP as per Kei car regulations, but weighs 70kg (155lbs) more at 830kg (1830lbs). 70kg is a notable difference even in a full sized car with more power on tap, so you can imagine how devastating 70 kilos must be when you have only 63 ponies to shove it around with. Whatever advantages a silly active wing might provide a car at Kei speeds are even neutralised, since this particular model's active wing isn't working for some reason. The only advantages the S660 has over the Beat on paper is one more forward gear, a MUCH stiffer chassis, some "clever" wizardry like brake vectoring (I detest driver aids with a passion), and unbelievably chunky tyres for a Kei car: 165mm sections up front and 195mm at the rear. For some context, the 165 sections up front of the S660 is the same width as the rears of the Beat. The 195mm rear tyres on the S660 are wider than non turbo variants of the FC RX-7s, a full size FR sports car. Crazy, I know!
Shockingly (to me anyway, maybe I'm stupid), the S660 completely destrolished any and all Beats on track. It was something ludicrous like 8 tenths of a second faster than a Beat per corner, and just at the end of the first lap, I was three seconds ahead of the pack on a sub 1:20 short track! In spite of 70 extra kilos, it pulls bus lengths on the Beat at launch just with an extra forward gear, which makes me wonder if the difference really is simply down to gearing, or if Honda understates the power of the S660, a practice Japanese manufacturers are all too familiar with. Most shockingly to me, it actually behaves like a normal sized MR car on corner entry and exit, which is where most of the time difference comes from as the Beat struggles to hold its rear end in check every corner entry. Unlike a normal sized car with wizardry and tricks however, the S660 is still light, being a Kei car, meaning the driving experience isn't marred by excessive mass.
What came as a truly pleasant surprise to me is just how well behaved the S660 is: I would never have known it had brake vectoring if I didn't read it up after the drive, which is my very unscientific benchmark for a good driver aid: It's subtle, it never gets in the way, and it (presumably) makes you faster. Not only did the driving experience feel pure, but it had none of the violent tendencies and lazy character of the Beat; it was calm, composed, communicating, and predictable, yet lively, from corner entry to exit, up to, at, and past its limits. The NC1 "NSX" wishes it could be this good.
Given the apocalyptic mess that is the Beat's driving characteristics, I was led to think that its behaviour is just the natural result of stuffing an engine aft the cabin within Kei car dimensions, and I hesitate to criticise the Beat for its horrific driving characteristics because of that. And while we didn't have the rear mid engined AZ-1 on hand to compare the Beat against that day, I drove one *ahem* several years ago *cough cough*, and recall it being similarly messy and tail happy as well, which furthers my opinion that rear mid engine Kei cars are all cute, expensive coffins. But, 24 years later, the S660 showed me that those faults can be more than overcome; cars can thrive in spite of, or even because of those limitations. We all know what a try hard Honda feels like to drive when stretched out into a full sized "super"car, don't we...?
So, in conclusion, the S660 is well and truly is a better car than the Beat in every regard, so if you're looking to buy a Honda kei car, it's not even a choice at this point. In fact, the S660 provides a far better drive than most full size sports cars, so much so that it spoils me on what I can expect and want from a corner in a car. It makes Mazda Roadsters feel like understeery porkers. I know the task at hand was to review the Beat, but the S660 is truly a show stealer, just from that one race I did with it. I can't stop talking about it. It's all the more amazing when you think that the S660 can be yours for just-
*sneaks a peek at the brochure I'm spewing from under the table*
wait, what
WAIT, WHAT?
The S660 costs HOW MUCH?!
ALMOST TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS?!
FOR A KEI CAR?
ARE YOU FLIPPING KIDDING ME?
So, uhm, for those unaware, the whole point of a Kei car is that they're supposed to be cheap modes of personal transportation, that doesn't immediately make you a fool for being on two wheels instead of four. They're cheaper to insure, have lower taxes, and, yes, they're supposed to be cheaper to buy, as well, than a full sized car. It's a very local Japanese law, tax, and regulation thing, so that's why they're rarely ever exported. So can anyone PLEASE tell me what the flip is a Kei car doing with a sub 20k USD price tag?! For that kind of money, I could buy a generously specced Demio with more power, comfortably seat 4 adults, AND have change left over! Heck, I could get a Honda Fit HYBRID for MUCH less!
I'm not entirely sure on this matter, but the quick fact sheets I'm given by the office list the cars' prices as they were sold brand new, converted into today's USD without adjusting for inflation. Therefore, it's only fair that I compare the Beat and S660's prices with cars from around their time periods.
Eunos Roadster NA Special Package (NA) 1989: 17,000
Nissan Silvia K's Dia Selection (S13) 1990: 22,500
Honda Beat 1991: 13,800
Daihatsu Copen 2002: 15,000
Suzuki Swift Sport 2007: 16,300
Honda Fit Hybrid (GK) 2014: 16,800
Mazda Roadster S (ND) 2014: 24,950
Mazda Demio XD L Package (DJ) 2015: 19,500
Honda S660 2015: 19,800
Italics: Kei
From this, you can see that the Beat actually fits the Kei car description of being cheaper to buy than a full size car, even if "full size" is a Japanese bathtub sized Roadster in this case. The S660 may be cheaper than a ND Roadster (...and admittedly drives better than it), but it still costs more than faster, more practical Fits and Demios.
So um... the S660 really is that good. But it's also really that expensive. If you're looking to buy a Honda Kei car, my advice would be: don't.
Given the S660's dominance over the Beat, I reluctantly went whimpering back into the Beat. You ever won something so badly that it makes you feel bad? (Editor's note: he came second in the race behind Vic in a Beat. Ted from Technical says he "overcooked" a few corners?) However, prolonged exposure to the Beat eventually proved lethal to me.
It started off innocently enough, with me suggesting a race in the rain in Toukyo. Now, when I said this, I had the C1 loop in mind, as its short configuration with relatively gentle corners throughout make racing low powered cars there an excellent test of skill, as cars of the Beat's ilk need brake only for about two corners. The lack of braking zones on the track mean that any slight mess up will greatly impact lap times, as you'll be carrying that mistake for almost half a lap before you next have to brake.
Maybe it's my fault for not specifying the C1 loop, because someone then said that they wanted the long, wet, and dark version of Toukyo, and Nismo, who was heading proceedings at the time, simply shrugged and went along with it. We somehow wound up in a part of Toukyo I don't recognise, characterised by a home straight that could probably make a 1000HP GT-R see its top speed.
And we in here in Beats.
It seemed like a popular vote, so maybe I'm the out of touch old man.
Not only did I die, but I also ruined Rob's race as well. I'm sorry.
Nat's not only fine after T-boning me, but she went on to win the race. Nope, even after someone died at a chicane in the wet with zero runoff, there was no red flag.
While I died in the chicane of lap 1, I actually think I got off easy, as the surviving racers had to endure the 2-ish km straight four times, with a car that will do only 167km/h (~103.8mph)... slipstream assisted. Without slip, you might get a peek at 166 on the speedo. The Beat is gear limited to about a 172km/h (~106.9mph) on a downhill not found in Toukyo.
The rest of the race photos:
Beater...?
Gran Turismo Sport: We allow only vector images because they can be stretched or shrunk without quality loss.
Also Gran Turismo Sport:
So why did I crash out so badly? I think it's important to review what went wrong not only to prevent the same thing from happening again, but also to offer an explanation to the poor chap who owns the Beat I totaled on the side of a Japanese expressway. Of course, as with any incident in one's life, it's impossible to know exactly what happened since you only know what's in your hands. That said, I think my deck is pretty stacked, and it's time to d-d-d-d-d-discuss.
Dusting off some ancient records in my off time recuperating from my injuries, I found out that the Beat comes stock with tyres that are the closest to what our distributors label as "Comfort Mediums". It begs the question though: which whippersnapper nincompoop intern fitted our Beats with Sport Hard tyres? Who the hell even makes 13 and 14 inch, 155 and 165 Sport tyres? And where did these interns source these tyres from?
The extra grip really upsets the car and breaks the entire driving characteristics of it, exaggerating the weight transfer when fully stomping on the brakes, and cornering. On Comfort tyres, the ride is a lot more smoother, and weight transfer is a lot more transitional, instead of being like an on-off switch, and the car becomes a lot more communicative. And believe you me when I tell you this car stops. As though weighing in at a mere 760kg kerb wasn't enough, the good folk over at Suzuka, Mie have fitted discs at all four corners of the Beat. I'm not saying having discs at all four corners is a bad thing, per se. It's just that it's part of an unfortunate, and rather hilarious recipe in this very bizarre instance. In conjunction with the uprated Sport tyres, stomping on the brakes in the Beat really does feel like you've smashed the car straight into a barn. I'm very surprised the airbags don't deploy every time it happens. I can't even downshift fast enough in this manual car to keep up with how fast this thing expels speed.
The tiniest discs I've ever seen, but discs nonetheless... hidden behind steel Kei truck wheels.
I'm convinced that either the owner of this Beat is a complete idiot, or whoever set the car up is. Sitting in the minuscule boot hanging entirely aft the rear axle is a 76 litre fuel tank, supplementing the car's stock 24 litre tank for a total combined fuel capacity of 100ℓ, as if this were some GT3 spec race car. 76ℓ of fuel also comes with 76ℓ worth of mass, weighing about 59kg. It's a notable difference even in full sized cars with more power, where the extra mass contributes to a small percentage of the vehicle's mass, but in a Kei car weighing a 760kg kerb? It's devastating enough on its own, but then to hang that out the rear of the car with a short and unstable wheelbase of 2,280mm (90")? That turns this tiny Kei car a swinging wrecking ball just waiting to kill someone. I should've known something was horrendously amiss the first time I spun at Tsukuba, but I have very little experience with Keis, let alone mid-engine ones.
To clarify, the S660 as tested was also on Sport Hard tyres carrying 100ℓ of fuel at the start, and it performed admirably despite that.
From a thumb to an entire arm and a neck brace. And in something with only 64PS. I'm not sure which would hurt more: toiling away at the keyboard with only one hand, or being late for a review and have it compound and snowball into the following weeks. Or to give a half baked, inaccurate review.
But I am alive. And walking. And I'm writing to request another track reservation, for another meet. The moment these casts come off, I'm driving a Beat again. Relatively new member to COTW and all, I'm given the green light to run the show for a Sunday, and this time, I'm going to run the car as it was meant to be ran from the factory. I'm hereby cordially inviting all the interns to kindly F-off. May I suggest that every intern be held in Boston Crabs for the entire duration of the retest to ensure they do not interfere? Perhaps being held upside down might improve the blood flow to their brains, assuming they aren't already brain dead.
Also, weirdly, the Beat has very noticible LOD drops when not the target car in the replay. Pausing the replay and then walking over, you can see the interior is... well... melted.
In fact, over the course of this week, I went from not knowing what to say or expect, being flabbergasted by its handling when I first drove it, and then eventually coming around to like it more and more as we went from race to race. Yes, it's slow. Yes, it drives horrible. But, oddly enough, it's precisely because it's slow and drives horrible that I think it provided for some excellent racing among COTW. So much so I even want to suggest that we come up with a new award when we do Car of the Year: The Car That Provided The Best Racing. I think the Beat has a strong shot at being able to get that award, with the Cayman being a close contender for being the total opposite: fast and predictable.
However, even if I like the Beat, I simply could not see myself owning a one, even as a second car. It just doesn't make much, if any, sense to me, and I'm fully aware of the irony of a sports car enthusiast talking about sensibility in ownership. It's just... do you really feel alive and enthralled pushing a 64PS car around a mountain pass? Do you really want a car that will kill you without warning if you put too thick a binder in the boot, or if it as much drizzles, even at pedestrian speeds? A first gen Viper would want to kill you less than the Beat if you're duly sensible in it. If you're buying a Kei car for its lower entry cost and cheaper running costs, there are several other Kei cars that are either more practical that can seat four, or are just as sporty but have their engines sensibly in front. If you truly want a sporty experience, I would wholly recommend saving up a few thousand dollars more and get yourself a Mazda Roadster, new or old, which is not only way more forgiving and faster, but is more easily serviceable with an abundance of parts, and I daresay will teach you more about driving fast than a Beat. Or, just get a Cappuccino.
With all that said, the only, ONLY kind of people I can recommend the Beat to are Honda fanatics, or people in charge of a Honda museum. For those people, the Beat is a must-have item in their collection, being the F40 equivalent of Honda. Anyone else should probably steer clear away from it, hopefully with no inertia drift or snap oversteer.
Here are unlisted, unedited videos of all 6 races we did on "Tuesday", and the 3 on "Saturday", as supporting document for the Beat's 0-100 times, how god awful it handles, and the deltas of the S660. Given how others did a lot better than me, I guess the conclusion that I don't mesh with it is a fair one to draw. It has to be said though, Kei cars are so tiny and easy to place, I actually did this week's races all in cockpit view. It just felt most right to me.
Maggiore Centre
Tsukuba
Sardegna C (embedded above)
Kyotou
Toukyo East
Blue Moon Bay B II
Tsukuba 2
Toukyo East 2
Nürburgring 24h
Editor's Note: What is with this group and murderous Hondas?
WHOOPS!
Because of the car's layout and setup, it's almost entirely impossible to trail brake into turns, as I found myself braking in a straight line, then almost completely letting off the brakes before turning, and this was even with a rather aggressive front brake bias at -3, which caused the front tyres to audibly cook under braking even with ABS. In fact, for the corners with deeper apexes, I've even had to give it quite a bit of gas to get weight over the rear before turning the wheel to rotate into the corner, just to prevent the rears from swinging out. The meager 63HP/PS it's so close it doesn't even matter on offer was never at risk of spinning the wheels from excessive power, meaning that, for as scarily tail happy as the car is to drive, power oversteer was never a factor, which made for a very bizarre experience. The gas pedal is essentially a "weight over the rear tyres" pedal, and the brakes, the opposite. Cornering the Beat at racing speeds really did feel like balancing on a tightrope, and you're less of a driver as you are an acrobat. It really was that precarious and delicate an affair.
Watch How This Singaporean Millennial makes S$5,000/mth Staying At Home! "Well you see, I collect a penny from this retired racing driver every time he cusses and swears in a Honda Beat..."
I'll admit, the instinct of trail braking is a hard one to break, especially under pressure in a race, which causes me to default back to instincts to trail brake on several occasions, which is a death sentence in the Beat. The Beat demands its own specific style of driving from its driver, and is therefore a steep test in how fast someone can adapt and learn, which feels like an underlying theme of COTW races. I'm... not very good at that. I need a lot of time to learn a car and track and commit it to memory for any one race, and I blame our country's education system for making me this way. *cough* Where was I? Right, the Beat.
It's a crying shame that the Beat's contemporary rivals, the Suzuki Cappuccino and Maz-, oh, sorry, the Autozam AZ-1, aren't available for us to test. The only other Kei cars we had on hand are its younger sibling, the S660, and the Daihatsu Copen, a personal favourite of mine. When we raced at Sardegna C, I decided to hop into an S660 to see how it stacks up to the Beat, since I have fresh experience with modern, beater, try hard Hondas around this track.
Déjà vu, I just been to this hellhole before. Higher on the Beat, and I know it's my time to goo~
What came as a truly pleasant surprise to me is just how well behaved the S660 is: I would never have known it had brake vectoring if I didn't read it up after the drive, which is my very unscientific benchmark for a good driver aid: It's subtle, it never gets in the way, and it (presumably) makes you faster. Not only did the driving experience feel pure, but it had none of the violent tendencies and lazy character of the Beat; it was calm, composed, communicating, and predictable, yet lively, from corner entry to exit, up to, at, and past its limits. The NC1 "NSX" wishes it could be this good.
Only complaint I have about the S660 is its rather... gun sights like rear view.
One bad apple.
One bad apple.
*sneaks a peek at the brochure I'm spewing from under the table*
wait, what
WAIT, WHAT?
The S660 costs HOW MUCH?!
ALMOST TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS?!
FOR A KEI CAR?
ARE YOU FLIPPING KIDDING ME?
So, uhm, for those unaware, the whole point of a Kei car is that they're supposed to be cheap modes of personal transportation, that doesn't immediately make you a fool for being on two wheels instead of four. They're cheaper to insure, have lower taxes, and, yes, they're supposed to be cheaper to buy, as well, than a full sized car. It's a very local Japanese law, tax, and regulation thing, so that's why they're rarely ever exported. So can anyone PLEASE tell me what the flip is a Kei car doing with a sub 20k USD price tag?! For that kind of money, I could buy a generously specced Demio with more power, comfortably seat 4 adults, AND have change left over! Heck, I could get a Honda Fit HYBRID for MUCH less!
Never thought I'd ever have to soil my hands handling that turd in yellow again.
I'm not entirely sure on this matter, but the quick fact sheets I'm given by the office list the cars' prices as they were sold brand new, converted into today's USD without adjusting for inflation. Therefore, it's only fair that I compare the Beat and S660's prices with cars from around their time periods.
Eunos Roadster NA Special Package (NA) 1989: 17,000
Nissan Silvia K's Dia Selection (S13) 1990: 22,500
Honda Beat 1991: 13,800
Daihatsu Copen 2002: 15,000
Suzuki Swift Sport 2007: 16,300
Honda Fit Hybrid (GK) 2014: 16,800
Mazda Roadster S (ND) 2014: 24,950
Mazda Demio XD L Package (DJ) 2015: 19,500
Honda S660 2015: 19,800
Italics: Kei
From this, you can see that the Beat actually fits the Kei car description of being cheaper to buy than a full size car, even if "full size" is a Japanese bathtub sized Roadster in this case. The S660 may be cheaper than a ND Roadster (...and admittedly drives better than it), but it still costs more than faster, more practical Fits and Demios.
So um... the S660 really is that good. But it's also really that expensive. If you're looking to buy a Honda Kei car, my advice would be: don't.
Given the S660's dominance over the Beat, I reluctantly went whimpering back into the Beat. You ever won something so badly that it makes you feel bad? (Editor's note: he came second in the race behind Vic in a Beat. Ted from Technical says he "overcooked" a few corners?) However, prolonged exposure to the Beat eventually proved lethal to me.
It started off innocently enough, with me suggesting a race in the rain in Toukyo. Now, when I said this, I had the C1 loop in mind, as its short configuration with relatively gentle corners throughout make racing low powered cars there an excellent test of skill, as cars of the Beat's ilk need brake only for about two corners. The lack of braking zones on the track mean that any slight mess up will greatly impact lap times, as you'll be carrying that mistake for almost half a lap before you next have to brake.
Maybe it's my fault for not specifying the C1 loop, because someone then said that they wanted the long, wet, and dark version of Toukyo, and Nismo, who was heading proceedings at the time, simply shrugged and went along with it. We somehow wound up in a part of Toukyo I don't recognise, characterised by a home straight that could probably make a 1000HP GT-R see its top speed.
And we in here in Beats.
It seemed like a popular vote, so maybe I'm the out of touch old man.
"And now we die. From either boredom or snap oversteer" - XSquareStickIt, 8th July 2020, 12:10pm SGT.
Not only did I die, but I also ruined Rob's race as well. I'm sorry.
Nat's not only fine after T-boning me, but she went on to win the race. Nope, even after someone died at a chicane in the wet with zero runoff, there was no red flag.
While I died in the chicane of lap 1, I actually think I got off easy, as the surviving racers had to endure the 2-ish km straight four times, with a car that will do only 167km/h (~103.8mph)... slipstream assisted. Without slip, you might get a peek at 166 on the speedo. The Beat is gear limited to about a 172km/h (~106.9mph) on a downhill not found in Toukyo.
The rest of the race photos:
The Beat can almost fit entirely onto the rumble strips of Maggiore!
Rob has his Beat painted in a really eye catching shade of green! Kinda reminds me of the S2000's Lime Green Metallic.
Sunsets at Maggiore are so pretty!
No pressure, new person!
Enkei SC03: The (Apparent) Official Wheel for Old Men Racing.
Or sleeper?
Mom, there's a bunch of scary looking Beaters following me!
Proof positive that a racing livery makes your car faster.
With a plate that literally says "Kyotou" on it how can I POSSIBLY lose this race in Kyotou?
Man, remember when everyone was alive before they weren't?
With cars so weak, slipstream was barely an advantage!
Vic, under pressure from the new member? Who IS this person?!
The amount of MOTUL liveries is too damn high!
Two wide through the chicane of wet death?!
Gran Turismo Sport: We allow only vector images because they can be stretched or shrunk without quality loss.
Also Gran Turismo Sport:
I really liked Nismo's Hot Wheels Honda Beat. It suits the toy like appearance of the Beat SO well!
We decided to bump up the Beat's power to a whopping 98HP for the last race! What is that, 149HP per litre, and no forced induction in sight! S2000, WHAT2000?
Powerrrrrr!
*********************************************
So why did I crash out so badly? I think it's important to review what went wrong not only to prevent the same thing from happening again, but also to offer an explanation to the poor chap who owns the Beat I totaled on the side of a Japanese expressway. Of course, as with any incident in one's life, it's impossible to know exactly what happened since you only know what's in your hands. That said, I think my deck is pretty stacked, and it's time to d-d-d-d-d-discuss.
Dusting off some ancient records in my off time recuperating from my injuries, I found out that the Beat comes stock with tyres that are the closest to what our distributors label as "Comfort Mediums". It begs the question though: which whippersnapper nincompoop intern fitted our Beats with Sport Hard tyres? Who the hell even makes 13 and 14 inch, 155 and 165 Sport tyres? And where did these interns source these tyres from?
The extra grip really upsets the car and breaks the entire driving characteristics of it, exaggerating the weight transfer when fully stomping on the brakes, and cornering. On Comfort tyres, the ride is a lot more smoother, and weight transfer is a lot more transitional, instead of being like an on-off switch, and the car becomes a lot more communicative. And believe you me when I tell you this car stops. As though weighing in at a mere 760kg kerb wasn't enough, the good folk over at Suzuka, Mie have fitted discs at all four corners of the Beat. I'm not saying having discs at all four corners is a bad thing, per se. It's just that it's part of an unfortunate, and rather hilarious recipe in this very bizarre instance. In conjunction with the uprated Sport tyres, stomping on the brakes in the Beat really does feel like you've smashed the car straight into a barn. I'm very surprised the airbags don't deploy every time it happens. I can't even downshift fast enough in this manual car to keep up with how fast this thing expels speed.
The tiniest discs I've ever seen, but discs nonetheless... hidden behind steel Kei truck wheels.
I'm convinced that either the owner of this Beat is a complete idiot, or whoever set the car up is. Sitting in the minuscule boot hanging entirely aft the rear axle is a 76 litre fuel tank, supplementing the car's stock 24 litre tank for a total combined fuel capacity of 100ℓ, as if this were some GT3 spec race car. 76ℓ of fuel also comes with 76ℓ worth of mass, weighing about 59kg. It's a notable difference even in full sized cars with more power, where the extra mass contributes to a small percentage of the vehicle's mass, but in a Kei car weighing a 760kg kerb? It's devastating enough on its own, but then to hang that out the rear of the car with a short and unstable wheelbase of 2,280mm (90")? That turns this tiny Kei car a swinging wrecking ball just waiting to kill someone. I should've known something was horrendously amiss the first time I spun at Tsukuba, but I have very little experience with Keis, let alone mid-engine ones.
To clarify, the S660 as tested was also on Sport Hard tyres carrying 100ℓ of fuel at the start, and it performed admirably despite that.
From a thumb to an entire arm and a neck brace. And in something with only 64PS. I'm not sure which would hurt more: toiling away at the keyboard with only one hand, or being late for a review and have it compound and snowball into the following weeks. Or to give a half baked, inaccurate review.
But I am alive. And walking. And I'm writing to request another track reservation, for another meet. The moment these casts come off, I'm driving a Beat again. Relatively new member to COTW and all, I'm given the green light to run the show for a Sunday, and this time, I'm going to run the car as it was meant to be ran from the factory. I'm hereby cordially inviting all the interns to kindly F-off. May I suggest that every intern be held in Boston Crabs for the entire duration of the retest to ensure they do not interfere? Perhaps being held upside down might improve the blood flow to their brains, assuming they aren't already brain dead.
I reran the Tsukuba and Toukyo races with Drex and Nat. Unfortunately, even with an appropriately sized tank, there was no curing the tail happiness of the Beat. Yes, the reduced fuel load from before did help, but only a minuscule amount; not nearly enough for me to not immediately tire of the car after just a few laps of Tsukuba.
I'll admit, on Comfort Medium tyres, the diminutive Beat is finally free enough to show some attitude, which contributed to the difficulty in the drive. Power oversteer is finally a very, very slight factor when giving the car full throttle mid corner, as you'll just about hear the rear tyres start to squeak a little like timid mice on power. It's just enough to unsettle the car a bit and make you second guess your steering input.
Miss, this entry ramp is ONE LANE ONLY!
Esther my tyres are cold!
On Comfort Mediums, the car is unexpectedly nervous to drive, as understeer also rears its ugly head and slots itself into the equation mid corner, adding to yet another thing to juggle as you walk that tightrope of balancing the Beat. Driving this car requires very sensitive and quick steering hands to catch inevitable slides, and I still find that the Beat has way too much body roll and pitch even on appropriate tyres, contributing to the slides and difficulty in catching them.
XSquare "Quick and Sensitive Fingers" StickIt!
Even though I came dead last in all three races, I did at least achieve my personal goal that Sunday, which was to not crash the Beat (too hard), and that feels like a bigger achievement to me, personally. I'm just sick of driving this cutesey coffin. I have made every excuse and tried everything I could with it, but it still drives horrible, with zero power on tap. This thing makes a turbo MR2 feel like a rock solid racing car with how loose it is. Truly I believe that the only reason the MR2 is the butt of snap oversteer jokes is because the Beat was never meant for export outside Japan. That, or because the Beat killed off every would be memer it housed. The decal on the side shouldn't say "BEAT Midship Amusement". It should say, "BEATER Midship Coffin".
"Wait, did you do two or three races Sunday?"
We reran two races, and then ran a new one. At the Nürburgring 24h layout. At night. No, it wasn't my idea.
Even on 24ℓ of fuel, we had enough for 6 laps of the ~25.4km (~15.8mi) track, the vast majority of which was spent full throttle. A standing start of the combined circuit took Nat, the winner, 13 minutes and 12 seconds to complete. Isn't COTW simply the peak of exhilaration?!
Even on 24ℓ of fuel, we had enough for 6 laps of the ~25.4km (~15.8mi) track, the vast majority of which was spent full throttle. A standing start of the combined circuit took Nat, the winner, 13 minutes and 12 seconds to complete. Isn't COTW simply the peak of exhilaration?!
*********************************************
Over the course of this review, it might sound like I really hate the Beat. But the truth is, I don't. I can't hate this thing. Who can? It's just fun to point and laugh it. It has that sort of unique, "look at me, I'm a cartoon character!" charm to it, that makes it impossible to smile and laugh every time you see one on the road, and it's a charm I daresay is entirely unique to the Kei segment. The Beat has every right to shout about its own technological achievements, somehow squeezing a MR layout and a soft top convertible package into Kei dimensions. It stands out in its Kei circle as being one of the very few to stick with a NA engine, and somehow squeezes the limit of Kei car power from its Kei size limited engine in spite of that. It is also the last car approved by Honda Soichiro before his passing in 1991.
The Beat can shout about all that, but it doesn't. Instead, it is a small, cheerful, hardworking, and honest car that doesn't it ask for much from you in return, and it's impossible to dislike a car like that. Sure, it doesn't have much in the way of practically or performance. Its terrifying in the wrong conditions handling, coupled with sharply declining Kei incentives in Japan, makes it very difficult for me to recommend the Beat to anyone. But, I imagine a young adult just getting their first car would be thrilled just having the liberty and power to go where they please, topless. And I don't think it's any exaggeration to say that some have stuck with this "beginner's car" for their whole adult lives because it's good enough. Good enough to fit their everyday needs. Good enough to have adventures and journeys in. Good enough to pass down to their kids when they are qualified to drive.
The Beat can shout about all that, but it doesn't. Instead, it is a small, cheerful, hardworking, and honest car that doesn't it ask for much from you in return, and it's impossible to dislike a car like that. Sure, it doesn't have much in the way of practically or performance. Its terrifying in the wrong conditions handling, coupled with sharply declining Kei incentives in Japan, makes it very difficult for me to recommend the Beat to anyone. But, I imagine a young adult just getting their first car would be thrilled just having the liberty and power to go where they please, topless. And I don't think it's any exaggeration to say that some have stuck with this "beginner's car" for their whole adult lives because it's good enough. Good enough to fit their everyday needs. Good enough to have adventures and journeys in. Good enough to pass down to their kids when they are qualified to drive.
In fact, over the course of this week, I went from not knowing what to say or expect, being flabbergasted by its handling when I first drove it, and then eventually coming around to like it more and more as we went from race to race. Yes, it's slow. Yes, it drives horrible. But, oddly enough, it's precisely because it's slow and drives horrible that I think it provided for some excellent racing among COTW. So much so I even want to suggest that we come up with a new award when we do Car of the Year: The Car That Provided The Best Racing. I think the Beat has a strong shot at being able to get that award, with the Cayman being a close contender for being the total opposite: fast and predictable.
However, even if I like the Beat, I simply could not see myself owning a one, even as a second car. It just doesn't make much, if any, sense to me, and I'm fully aware of the irony of a sports car enthusiast talking about sensibility in ownership. It's just... do you really feel alive and enthralled pushing a 64PS car around a mountain pass? Do you really want a car that will kill you without warning if you put too thick a binder in the boot, or if it as much drizzles, even at pedestrian speeds? A first gen Viper would want to kill you less than the Beat if you're duly sensible in it. If you're buying a Kei car for its lower entry cost and cheaper running costs, there are several other Kei cars that are either more practical that can seat four, or are just as sporty but have their engines sensibly in front. If you truly want a sporty experience, I would wholly recommend saving up a few thousand dollars more and get yourself a Mazda Roadster, new or old, which is not only way more forgiving and faster, but is more easily serviceable with an abundance of parts, and I daresay will teach you more about driving fast than a Beat. Or, just get a Cappuccino.
At the end of the day, I say that the Beat doesn't make any sense to me because the very concept of a MR Kei car is just oxymoronic, in my opinion. Kei cars are supposed to be cheaper cars to buy and run, yet MR Keis are only suited for people with enough money and real estate to buy a second car. MR cars are supposed to be the ideal track car layout, yet MR Keis are nothing but a nightmare to drive even at 5 tenths. They're products that compromise on safety, practicality, and cost for not much sportiness. Yes, the S660 proves that MR sportiness can be stuffed into Kei dimensions and make for a drive that spoils me on driving dynamics as much as full sized cars spoil me with power and practicality, but for a price higher than that of a full sized car? Even someone like me has to pause and ponder if it's worth all the sacrifice and hassle.
With all that said, the only, ONLY kind of people I can recommend the Beat to are Honda fanatics, or people in charge of a Honda museum. For those people, the Beat is a must-have item in their collection, being the F40 equivalent of Honda. Anyone else should probably steer clear away from it, hopefully with no inertia drift or snap oversteer.
*********************************************
Here are unlisted, unedited videos of all 6 races we did on "Tuesday", and the 3 on "Saturday", as supporting document for the Beat's 0-100 times, how god awful it handles, and the deltas of the S660. Given how others did a lot better than me, I guess the conclusion that I don't mesh with it is a fair one to draw. It has to be said though, Kei cars are so tiny and easy to place, I actually did this week's races all in cockpit view. It just felt most right to me.
Maggiore Centre
Tsukuba
Sardegna C (embedded above)
Kyotou
Toukyo East
Blue Moon Bay B II
Tsukuba 2
Toukyo East 2
Nürburgring 24h
*********************************************
Editor's Note: What is with this group and murderous Hondas?
No comments:
Post a Comment