Dogbox BoneStock: Biewer Terrier by RMedia_Obelisk
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Chainsaw Man Makima E36 M3 by XSquareStickIt
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Chainsaw Man Makima E36 (Wide) by XSquareStickIt
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As Gran Turismo 7 players are most likely aware however, the E36 is notorious in this game for thus far having a very troubled existence since it was added in Update 1.49 back in July of 2024, the very same update that overhauled the game's physics and brought with it some unfortunate and sometimes hilarious quirks. The E36 never did have astronaut aspirations, but it was softly sprung enough to encounter problems with the game's physics that seemed to punish cars with soft suspension in befuddling ways, though I'm convinced that there must also be other factors at play that make the issue so persistently afflict the E36. Watching back publicly shared replays of the E36 pre v1.55, it seemed as if the cars or their drivers just steered themselves off the paved track for no apparent reason right into a wall, with no ostensible attempt at resisting their violent fates along the way, sometimes even on relatively straight stretches of tarmac. While said glitch does appear to have toned down in severity, that catastrophic behaviour is still very much present in v1.55, and it will still catch out drivers at the worst of times. My E36 lost itself on Turn 3 of Eiger Nordwand, a slow, downhill right–hander, and with less than half throttle clear out of the powerband of the NA Straight 6, my E36 just speared off towards the inside barrier near the exit of the turn, as though it gave into a long–closeted fetish for Barry R and his facial reconstruction prowess. I of course am in no position to comment on how true to life that reaction to my inputs is, but in the context of this game and in comparison to many of the cars it has, some of which very close in performance, layout, and era to the E36, that's just behaviour I can't expect, explain, nor accept.
In the context of a review of a car in a video game, that's all that would be enough to write off the E36, but in the interest of being fair and thorough, the E36's issues hardly end at a silly glitch. It may have been declared Car & Driver's Best–Handling Car in 1997, but here in Gran Turismo 7, the E36 is going up against a NSX-R instead of a bloody NSX-T, it's going up against something that was never unleashed upon the states in the GT-R, and it's also got more power to tie itself up in knots, being the EU spec that comes to us at 316HP (236kW) instead of a meek 240HP (179kW). And in this digital landscape where in theory only the best trims of each model is represented, the E36 I find struggles horrendously to keep up with its digital peers.
It's not just the springs of the E36 that are soft; its chassis feels like it has about as much structural integrity as a truss made of toothpicks tied together with rubber bands. The way in which the E36 approaches its limits is annoyingly not linear, requiring disproportionate effort and care to get the last 10% of its handling envelope out of the car. The car starts off nimble and light on its feet, belying its hefty 1,460kg (3,219lbs) mass and showcasing immediate response and even an accompanying screamer of a soundtrack that together would smite anyone with petrol in their blood. It keeps that agility and responsiveness on hard braking and trail braking, all the way until I'm almost entirely off the brakes and give the steering wheel a harder twist to meet the apex, at which point the car feels as if it hits a metaphorical wall, refusing to turn any more than it's already doing and stressing the tyres into screaming hysteria, often resulting in me missing the apex by about half a car width. Despite being a rather heavy and softly sprung car, rumble strips and road camber greatly upset the E36, the former causing it to squirm vaguely and often requiring quick flashes of counter steer just to keep it pointing in the right direction, with the outside of the last turn of Road Atlanta (a relatively flat and innocuous rumble strip) being a good example. Cutting corners with more raised kerbs, such as the awful chicane of Nürburgring GP or the Bus Stop of Watkins Glen is a crapshoot, because the car just feels incredibly vague when thrown off balance or upset. And when the E36 M3 slides, it's completely numb and catastrophically ceases all communication to its driver. Losing grip in an E36 is like watching a horror movie; I'm terrified, but I can have no more influence and involvement in the affair beyond being terrified. Overall, it's just a car I never came to gel with nor trust under any circumstance, and it was just pure frustration in a racing scenario.
Of course, cars from that era are never without flaws. And so I thought I'd do what car reviewers in real life do, and conduct my own comparison tests. I brought along with me an A80 Supra RZ and a R33 GT-R V • spec, both 2–door Inline 6 sports cars and 1997 models. Even when downgrading the Japanese cars from their default Sports Hard tyres down to match the E36's Comfort Softs, they are both supremely easier to drive, giving me a sense of predictability and ease where the E36 was hysterically screaming at me to baby it better. The Supra in particular has a 6–speed stick shift, and wouldn't even fit under our Weekly Lobbies' regulations even on gimped tyres simply because it's so much faster than the E36. The turbocharged cars also propel themselves out of corners better with solid walls of mid–range torque, and the GT-R even has AWD to help with that. And those are the fat pigs of the "276HP era" of Japanese sports cars; the E36 wouldn't even be a half–decent appetiser for the more athletic cars from that era like FD RX-7 and NA NSX-R.
The E36, like many cars of its era, is a pretty good car with its share of flaws and quirks. What damns the E36 in my mind is that it's a relatively affordable high–performance machine that looks like it would fit right into the early Gran Turismo games, competing with the "276HP era" cars those games made legends among a generation of kids. But it's precisely because the E36 finds itself in this era and performance bracket that means it has to be held to so much higher a standard than usual, because there are just so many other options to choose from, many of which have had the privilege of imprinting upon an impressionable child's mind, becoming heroes to many. If it can't even outrun or out–handle a Supra, it has no chance of even being on my radar when I'm swooning over the beautiful curves of an FD RX-7, both on and off a track. I guess one can make the argument that it's by far the cheapest among its contemporaries here in GT7, but eh...
While the flaws of the E36—namely its soft suspension and chassis—do have easy fixes, why bother with it when the E46 has six forward gears and a much stiffer chassis to work with as a base for tuning? The E36 really does suffer massively from the middle child syndrome, and, at least among the M3s represented in the game, really is the worst one. If you want sheer driving pleasure, go with the E30. If you want a competent tuning base, the E46 is the way to go, and the E92 is... there, for moral support with its big F–off V8 engine.
